47 Weeks

Dear Parker,

You are 47 weeks old.  And you are my sweet baby angel.  Now, don't get me wrong, your brother Jackson is pretty cool, too.  But I am writing this letter to you.  Because as a little baby girl who will grow into a woman, this is an incredibly important time in history.  Hopefully, you are too young to  understand (or repeat) the vile words that often come tumbling out of my mouth when I'm watching the news these days. But I do want you to know, one day, what I was thinking and feeling and hoping.

Usually, I use this space to write about you and Jax and share my thoughts on thought-provoking topics such as toenails, my spirit-crushing experience in exercise class and the latest wacky alternative treatment your grandmother is trying.  Or making me try, such as the 'laser' she routinely fires up and places next to my broken left foot.  (And no, I don't really know what it is.  It's a battery-operated machine that looks like a large remote control with flashing lights and she claims it has magical healing powers.  One day you'll learn sometimes it's just easier to go with it, just sigh, let her place the crazy thing next to your foot, turn on the tv and just go with it.)

But I digress.

As I was saying, this is not a place where I would normally write about anything too serious.  (Although, truly, what's NOT serious about the The Awning, I mean RUHLLY.)  But this is an incredible time in our history and you are witness to it, even if you don't know it yet.

When we held the Baby Blessing for you and your brother, part of the ceremony was a poem I read on Zee's fabulous blog and a portion of it is here:

 

May God bless you with
anger at injustice, oppression, and

exploitation of
people, so that you may wish for justice, freedom and peace.

May God bless you with
enough foolishness

to believe that you
can make a difference in this world,

so that you can do
what others claim cannot be done.

 

Your father and I took these words very seriously.  I want you and Jackson to notice injustice and oppression and bigotry and not only wish for equality and justice but work for it too.  And I want you to believe that you can make a difference, even in a tiny little way. To make the world a better place.

We are in the middle of a crazy time, with many different things happening all at once.  There's an economic crisis the likes of which none of us have ever seen and we're less than two weeks away from a truly historic election.

But there are a couple of really crazy things happening now, things that are propelling Mommy into the kitchen night after night, to scour the cupboards for remnants of  crackers or Toll House chocolate chips that might have fallen out of the package and then to crack open all those bottles of Chardonnay as she watches countless hours of CNN.

One of these things is that there is a woman, her name is Sarah Palin, and she's the candidate for the Vice President of the United States on the Republican ticket.  (And no, if they are elected, she will NOT be in charge of the U.S. Senate, she will not really "get in there with the senators and make a lot of good policy changes." Because, and hopefully you will learn this in a Civics class one day, the only power a vice president has, according to a little document known as the Constitution, is to preside over the U.S. Senate. And maybe cast a vote here and there, in case of a
tie.) 

But anyhoo, having her run as the VP candidate on the ticket is very confusing for Mommy.  On the one hand, Hurray! A woman ran a fantastic campaign during the primaries and was almost the Democratic party presidential nominee.  And then Hurray! The Republican nominee went and chose a woman.  What strides we're making!  What a different world you'll grow up in! 

But then it was like, Hurray!  Hur–what?  Wait, what did she say?  Hold on.  What's wrong with this picture? 

WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?

She sneers at her opponent's community organizing work during her first big speech on a national stage?  That's mean.  And for those of us who have worked in the not for profit sector, downright insulting.  And she likes to hunt and kill animals?  FROM A HELICOPTER?  And she wants to drastically curb your reproductive rights (Greetings! I'm your Understatement Of The Day!) as well as your access to open and honest sex education.  And she wants to amend the Constitution of the United States to ban marriage between two women or two men?  And when serving as Mayor, inquired about the possibility of removing certain "objectionable books" from the library?

And she openly calls her opponent
anti-American and accuses him, at campaign rallies in front of
thousands of people, of "palling around with terrorists"? And seems to think certain parts of this country are more American than others.

And she calls herself an Every Woman Hockey Mom You Betcha but then spends an assload of money on expensive designer clothing and hair and make-up. She claims to be able to do it all, to put down the Blackberry and pick up the breast pump. As if the rest of us working moms should be doing the same.  Except she actually makes a good enough living,  good enough that her husband doesn't have to work full time outside the home, and when she travels for business her kids get to tag along. And she has tons of family members who pitch in to help, and she could bring her tiny baby to work with her and stash her under the desk while she conducted business. She didn't seem to need paid time off after the babies were born, daycare, or a nanny. Or Lexapro.

She hasn't spoken much about family leave or the need to have high quality, affordable childcare options for working mothers, because I guess she really COULD do it all. 

 IT'S ALL JUST TOO MUCH FOR MOMMY.

What is a Mom with a baby girl to do?

Is she a role model to young girls? Despite the fact that I am diametrically opposed to every single thing she stands for and to be honest, those frame-less glasses just don't really do it for me either, should I respect the fact that she's clearly motivated and has made great strides in the political realm?

Do I consider her a feminist because she calls herself one, even though in the same sentence she mentions how she fished and hunted with her brothers as a young girl and THAT'S what makes her one?

Is she causing more cracks in the glass ceiling or actually putting duct tape over the cracks that other women have made?

Is she saying that a woman really can bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan? While totally pulling off the Sexy Librarian look? Or is she saying that a woman should kill the pig herself (from a helicopter, to make it more fun), bring it home to a large family, fry it up in a pan while Blackberrying co-workers and breastfeeding a newborn? 

IT'S ALL JUST TOO MUCH FOR MOMMY.

I want you to grow up believing you can do great things, and I want you to find amazing role models who can serve as examples for you. I want strong, powerful women to help light your path through the world. But suddenly the definition of 'role model' isn't so clear.

I want you to see things in the world that you want to change, and I want you to have the power to change them. I don't want you to have such convoluted, confusing images of what a strong, feminist woman looks like. 

But how we're going to get there is anybody's guess. 

I'm off to crack open another bottle of wine, hunt for a stale cracker or two and hope for the best.

With all my love,

Mommy