Apparently, TypePad has been having some technical difficulties, and there’s a message reading "you may have lost some data if you posted an entry between 12:30 am and 10:30 am PST."
JUST MY LUCK.
I swear, last night I posted the BBEE — The Best Blog Entry Ever. The one that was brutally honest, heart warming, yet inspirational AND hysterically funny. The one that would clinch that Bloggy Award thing someone does…the one that was sure to lead to a faithful following of avid readers and banner ads out the ass.
What’s that? Oh, you’re not really buying that? Rats! I was hoping I could use TypePad as an excuse for actually having…nothing…much…to…..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Ooops! I fell asleep for a second there I was so bored.
Anyhoo, here’s what’s going on around these parts:
*My crazy mother sent me an e-mail the other day. Was it about how to integrate Chinese healing into traditional Western medicine, you ask? No. Was it to ask how I’m doing, you know — just to check in and say ‘hello’? No. Was it about how thrilled she is I am her oldest daughter and would I like to join her for tea this weekend? Definitely no.
The subject heading was:
Spiders that can kill now are hiding under toilet seats! From India!
Now besides the somewhat awkwardly-worded sentence, this is disturbing on many levels. For one, she sent this in all seriousness, as a WARNING, about these alleged spiders (from India!) that are hiding under toilet seats, just waiting to bite my nether regions.
The e-mail contains an excruciatingly long discourse about two women who got very, very ill after eating in a well-known chain restaurant. But not from food poisoning as you might presume. No, these women suffered from fever, chills, vomiting, paralysis and finally DEATH. Long story short (not to minimize these poor women’s deaths but people I only have so much time here), the local health department realized that the lethal Two-Striped Telamonia spider was hiding under the toilet seat.
This spider, according to the e-mail, has immigrated from India to inflict pain, death and destruction on the American people. They could be anywhere! So please (and I am quoting here) before you use a public toilet, lift the seat to check for spiders! It can save your life! And please pass this on to everyone you care about!!
[Undertone of e-mail: I used to be sane, until I had you little brats]
*In other news, I have now brewed two more vats of the vomitous Chinese tea since my last post. I have to change formulas every 3 days or so, depending on where I am in my cycle, so today I started a brand new batch of dragon lips, unicorn horn, scabs and, oddly enough, essence of Two-Striped Telamonia! Weird, huh? Anyway, it is still disgusting but I am soldiering on.
*BeBop started his new job at Company A and it’s going pretty well. But, he still hasn’t heard back from Company B. He interviewed two weeks ago, and when he checked back in with them yesterday, they said they’re still interviewing candidates, so it could be a while before he hears anything. So, I think he just needs to settle in at this job and wait and see what happens. It’s been hard being on pins and needles these last couple of months, every time he calls me I think did her hear? Is there news? And that gets old.
*And, finally, regarding the Great VaJayJay Vigil of 2006…I just don’t have any updates. We haven’t decided if we’re going to try another clomid/IUI cycle nor have we seriously discussed IVF. I am in total denial. I want to think that something, some miracle, will happen and that the acupuncture or the herbs or the fact that BeBop is finally working will make a difference.
So, for now it’s all about doing the needles, choking down the tea, trying to adjust to (and trust in) our new life and hope for the best. Hope that things become clear and I figure out what to do next.
Oh yeah, and watch my ASS so I don’t get bitten by the lethal spider (from India!) and you all should do the same.
Update! From India! (Has that gotten old yet??) People, I think these Chinese herbs are driving me crazy. Seriously. I feel crazeeee emotional, and since it’s only CD14, I can’t figure it out. I almost started crying at work, and even now that I’m home I feel like I’m on the brink of tears. For no apparent reason. I am outraged (outraged, I tell you!) that I have to get my ass on a train and go up to San Francisco to meet BeBop for a Giants game. The nerve!
What is with me? Have any of you Chinese medicine gals felt some emotional swings while on the herbs?
Are you beginning to notice a theme here, or is it just me? Something about weird lifeforms invading the loo? (First bath’shrooms, then Indian spiders. What’s next–Pleiocene-era fruitbats in the drains?) Should we consult Nostradamus or something? Maybe it’s a sign.
My mother called me at work yesterday to tell me about a psychic on Montel who said that humans only have about 95 years left on this planet, and I was like, uhm, yeah, whatever. But you know, maybe there’s something to it. Maybe this bathroom invasion is just the first wave. Maybe the fungoid and insectoid life forms are gearing up to take over again.
It could happen, right? I mean, why would it be on Montel if it wasn’t TRUE?
I really thought you had written the BBEE! I’m so disappointed. JK!
I get really ticked off by people who blithely forward these warning emails without doing even the slightest bit of online research to see if possibly, just possibly, it might be a hoax.
Too funny, though, that your latest concoction contained the essence of the same spider. Or were you just making that up and I’m incredibly gullible?
Hi Gals – Zee I love how your mother seems kooky just like mine. Gawd, do you think we’ll be like that one day to our progeny? It’s probably inevitable. After years of therapy (and cringe)-inducing comments I guess most mothers appear crazy to their kids! Something to look forward to, right?
And I was kidding about the spider essence, but I swear it tastes like spider ASS when I’m trying to choke down my tea twice a day.
Those herbs are potent stuff. I’ve never felt extra-emotional on them, but hey, it may be hard to tell since I feel like I’ve been an emotional nightmare for, well, let’s see…oh, just about a year now. Sometimes I get PMS-y feelings around ovulation, so maybe your mid-cycle hormones are to blame.
No, Watson, I’m afraid I never did. But you never know right; maybe they gave you a different mysterious concoction..
So do you know WHY your mother sent the email? Was it a legit warning or just a “this may amuse you” email?
How odd.
Uuuuuurrrrrrrrgh!!!!! You have hit on one of my ALL TIME PET PEEVES!!!! I cannot stand when people forward those SPAM/HOAX/FAKEURBANLEGEND emails without checking with SNOPES.COM or some other reputable de-bunking site!!!
Although, I do admit, that one is particularly hilarious! (from India!)
Clearly the people coming up with those emails have all the time in the world, and are NOT dealing with IF!!!!! ;P
Ah, yes. Chinese Herbs. I once took those. *shudders* Thank you for bringing up very bad memories!!!!! 😛 I think I took them for barely two weeks, if that. They were absolutely disgusting, and VERY EXPENSIVE. I actually paid this chinese herb place to brew them up for me, I don’t know what I was thinking. I don’t remember feeling emotional or odd from the herbs, just disgusted! LOL So, sorry I am not much help with it! I admire you for soldiering on with them though, and faithfully continuing with it! You are a brave, brave girl!! 🙂
Good luck with that (and the spiders) (from India!)! 😉
And thanks for your comments at my blog, they were very nice. 🙂