Dog! Tag!

DOG!

So the photo shoot with Bosco the Dog is planned for tonight, I swear! 

We went through his clothing selections and chose just the perfect raincoat to demonstrate his modern and ultra chic taste in outerwear.

And he wants me to be sure to tell you he’s NOT gay.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that.  He just wears coats.  When it rains.  And only because I make him.

But!  The prospect of all this attention is clearly getting to him.  He wanted to go by the mall and look at some stuff in Abercrombie & Fitch, just to see if they had any really macho-looking Gortex.  I refused.  I just cannot support a chain that markets thongs to young girls.  Low-rise pants, mid-drift-showing tees and skinny jeans are bad enough, but PLEASE!  Thongs?  For 12 year olds?  I think not.  Bosco started to ask if HE could have a thong but as soon as I started my little tirade about the tweeners he shut his trap.  He knows better.

He’s mad at me because we haven’t done his nails in ages, and he looks positively PREHISTORIC with those long nails.  (In my defense, he can’t just get them clipped like a normal dog.  Noooo…Bosco has to get his mani/pedis at the vet, because his nails get TRAMMELED or some other word I’ve never heard before that means worn down with a loud buzzing machine of some sort.  Basically it’s a total pain in the ass and like the responsible pet owners that we are, we wait until he’s practically prancing around on nothing but nails, skidding across the hardwood floors and leaving hideous scratch marks all over the house, before we finally take him for the trammeling.)

He’s been getting ready all day, fasting because he said he feels ‘bloated’ and doesn’t want to appear fat in the photos. DOGS!  Such freaking divas.

And TAG!

I was recently tagged by the fabu Electric Lady and not-so-recently by the delish ‘Nilla and I will also do my best to get to one or both of those. 

Seriously.  I need some material other than "I’m so infertile…"  "How INFERTILE ARE YOU?" and crazy Mother stories and watch me have a myocardial fucking infarction because my dog isn’t at home when he’s supposed to be.

SNORT.

I said infarction.