I might be done. Blogging, that is.
I mean, I don't really WANT to stop blogging. I love it. Really, I do.
But I just don't seem to have the time to sit down and compose an even somewhat cogent piece. After the holidays, I promised myself I would be a better, more frequent blogger. "It's not the quality," I told myself. (SNORT. Like that's ever been a concern of mine.) "But the quantity! I should post shorter items, but more often."
Well. We all know how that's worked out.
Work is so busy I don't have the luxury I once had of sitting at my computer, pretending I'm being productive while really writing my silly posts and Googling that Napoleon Dynamite quote I just can't quite remember.
Those were the good old days. Now I'm busy all day and rush home to feed the twins and put them to bed.
Speaking of those babies, here's one of my (many) issues: I can't seem to get into the groove of Mommy Blogging. I was an okay IF blogger, and then a fine pregnant blogger. But writing about the twins just seems…I don't know…like who cares?
Now you might be wondering: WHY in the fricking hell does Watson think we preferred her posts detailing what cycle day she was on, what her cervical mucous was looking like and what all those pesky areola hairs courtesy of the PCOS were up to over talk of her scrumptious wee li'l ones??
Good question.
And friends, I just don't have an answer for you. I just know I feel like the lamest blogger who ever blogged a blog.
So I'm thinking of just hanging the "I quit" sign on this site, but the thought makes me so sad. This community is so awesome and I've received so much support and guidance and moments of outrageous humor and true friendship that I just can't seem to pull the plug.
But, for example, how am I supposed to write about the OHIDON'TKNOW two months since I last sat my ass down to compose a post?!?
So.Many.Boring.Detai…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…SEE! I'm even boring myself!
But in no particular order whatsoever here's what's been going on Chez Watson:
*I am the suckiest, most sucktastic Mommy ever when it comes to the monthly letters I was going to write to the babies. My grandiose scheme was to settle in at the close of each month with my LL Bean slippers on, a cup of hot tea at the ready and compose the most sentimental, witty-yet-hauntingly earnest summation of what the last month had brought us. Each new morsel of food that passed the lips of Jackson and Parker, each sigh, giggle, new word and activity was to be documented for posterity.
YEAH.
I think I managed that, what…once? Maybe?
*I work all day and then head home to two, hungry, tired babies. If you were to, say, drop by unexpectedly one night around 5:30-5:45 PM, you might get the door slammed in your face. But if you came equipped with a nice bottle of alcohol I might let you in and you'd see me in the same disgusting yoga pants I wear every night, hair pulled into a disheveled ponytail, trying to step over the baby-gate from the living room into the kitchen. Leaving two distraught, baying creatures on the other side. The gate is so high (actually I'm so short) that it grazes the lady parts in an uncomfortable way which makes me 1) nervous; 2) fearful I'm going to break something else and 3) grateful I'm not planning on having anymore kids.
My extremely ungraceful leap over the gate is greeted with a sound that is virtually inhuman. THE SCREAMING, people, DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN THE SCREAMING. The babies act as if I've hopped on a raft made from palm fronds and left them behind on a deserted island with only a disgusting volleyball for companionship.
They wail and fling themselves on to the floor and I (being the calm, loving Mom that I am) usually scream "HOLD ON!!! I AM COMING. I AM TRYING MAKE YOUR DINNER!" or perhaps this old chestnut, "GAWD YOUR WHINING IS MAKING MOMMY WANT TO PUNCTURE HER OWN EARDRUMS WITH A MOLDY CHOPSTICK!!
And then I usually let them into the kitchen where Parker tries to eat the dog's food and Jackson opens and slams the antique wooden door to my deceased grandmother's corner cabinet that's been in the family since the early 1800s.
And then?
Then when the milk is warm (don't even GET ME STARTED on SippyGate when we transitioned from bottles to cups. JE-SUS. Parker went on a milk strike and cried so hard she acted as if I was trying to coax her into drinking a plastic cup full of dish washing liquid for fuck's sake) and the little bites of turkey meatballs have been readied, I attempt to place two whining, squirming toddlers into their highchairs.
Oh what? What's that? I'm tricking you into sitting on a torture device that will soon tighten its 'safety' straps around you and squeeze the very breath from your body while shooting poison darts through your appendages? Is THAT why you're screaming and flailing about like a ferret trying to free himself from a rusty trap? Well. THAT explains it.
You might then see Jackson SLAM his head into the back of the high chair. SLAM SLAM SLAM. And there's a good chance you would also hear me yell, "Don't DO THAT! Your head is already flat from you sleeping funny as a baby so KNOCKITOFF!!!"
And you would also see the twins eat for about 10 minutes before deciding that flinging each morsel of food on to the dog's head is SO much more fun than eating it.
This presents more problems that can you imagine. Bosco is a rescue dog and was undoubtedly treated very poorly in his previous home. And this dog has issues. Any object that comes at him from above, even a perfectly good bite of turkey meatball, is seen as a threat. So while two babies try to fling their food (and cups of water and the dreaded sippy cups and their new plastic, brightly-colored sporks) onto the ground, Bosco is weaving and diving and retreating and crawling and backing up and back and forth and back and forth as fast as he possibly can. He looks like a soldier trying to avoid being hit with shrapnel for crissakes.
It would not be the most relaxing place you've been in, that's for sure.
*The babies are both finally walking, thank Goodness. Jackson usually walks with his little arms outstretched like FrankenBaby and Parkie likes to hold her arms in, focusing on her core (I guess) with her little hands tucked in by her chest. She toddles back and forth and looks remarkably like Charlie Chaplin. She's a total dare devil and while Jax might be sitting quietly in the corner 'reading' a book, she's probably getting up on the couch (her new trick), crawling gleefully across the giant sectional cushions to the end and then propelling herself, head first, on to the Glider rocking chair we have next to the couch. And because this thrill got old fast, man, she now tries to stand up on the chair and rock it back and forth, perilously close to flying off said chair onto the hardwood floor.
*I am finally making headway on my quest to lose the Baby Toddler Weight From Hell. I started a whole new (and crazy, natch) program and I've lost about 15 pounds. No humiliating, death camp jump rope torture in sight, thank God. No Blond Mom Gang to conjure up the traumatic devastation known as Middle School P.E. Class.
*I finally decided to join Facebook. GAWD. How boring! Not to be all snotty but geez, someone (someone who, incidentally, 'friended' me recently, someone I knew about 25 years ago from a summer in DC and can't remember for the freaking life of me thanks to a Greek
restaurant on the outskirts of Georgetown that would serve us wine coolers) tagged me for some list of 25 Interesting Things About Me.
HA! That's like so 2006! Us bloggers did a list of ONE HUNDRED things like three years ago. Take that. That would be the FACE in Facebook, loser. (Okay, that actually was snotty, wasn't it?) Anyway, I don't love hearing how one friend is having Earl Grey tea with honey and another is looking forward to watching the Grammys and how another friend isn't sore after skiing for the first time all season and having people write on my wall. I guess I'm just a late adopter. And unusually cranky. But maybe I'll get the hang of it (she says doubtfully).
*Work, although busy, is fine for me. For BeBop? Not so much. He just found out yesterday he's getting laid off.
*HOLY. SHIT. Laid off?!? In this time of global economic crisis the likes of which haven't been seen since the 1930s?!?
WHERE ARE YOU PEOPLE WITH THAT WINE?!?!?
*Anyway. I'll close now by saying I just don't know what to do with this blog. Any suggestions are most welcome. And so is Merlot.
Merlot = VERY MUCH APPRECIATED.
CHAIR OF DEATH:
Parker: Me likey stab Mommy with half-eaten pretzel
Jackson: Do de do de do…me no see sister threaten to puncture Mommy's carotid artery with pretzel. Mmmmmm…pretzel…wheee!!!
I just want you to keep writing — you crack me up! More Parker and Jackson, more Bosco, whatever……and whenever you get a chance. I have you on Google Reader, so I’ll always be notified.
(but personally I vote for more “mommy blogging” if you want to call it that. It isn’t boring! Well, in reality it might be, but it is fun to read when you write it!)
Oh Watson, pleeeeease don’t gooooooo. I miss reading your posts. I would love to hear more about the family too. Totally NOT boring! You’re an excellent writer, and I look up to your blogging abilities.
http://www.amazon.com/First-Years-Hands-Free-Gate/dp/B000058CC7/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=home-garden&qid=1234497738&sr=8-1
This gate has changed my life. I, too, am pathetically short. And the lady bits grazing…yet. But this gate! Oh! So nice! You need it! Get it! Gates…stay around for a long time, and this one ROCKS. And you can get extensions. Yes, yes, you need it.
As for quitting blogging, don’t. Just go all full-force mommy-blogger on our asses. We’re not afraid! Really!!
Because HAHA! I loooove the account of feeding! It sounds SO SCARILY similar to my feeding. And all the other crazy sounds familiar, too, actually. Ahhh, yes, double baby, one mommy. Fun times, fun times.
So…let’s recap….you shouldn’t stop blogging, crazy children are normal (or else mine are also weird), those babies are ADORable, look me up on FB. jpond_24@yahoo.com. Because if you’re going to THREATEN NOT BLOGGING, you have to AT LEAST GIVE US (uhm, me) THAT!
🙂
please please please dont diapear (was that a freudian slip) I meant disappear…..no no no no no nonoononono is my response.
sounds like your evenings are pretty much like my, except my two arent big enough to slam antique heirloom doors, but the sheer volume of shrieking can on the other hand shatter aquariums all up and down our street.
life is pretty good here..Ive emerged from the initial three month fog of death and sleep deprivation. Theyre giggling and smiling and Im having nervous breakdowns less often, which is probably the way forward.
DONT GO!!!!!!! at least email lookimyu at yahoo dot com before you do. dont dont dont forget!
oh god babies crying must go i am a shit mother blogging while they sit int he living romm getting bored, byeeeee!
I’m not very good at blogging anymore either, but I’ve left my blogs up for when the mood strikes. Bloggers “reading list” makes it a lot easier to keep up with infrequent posters like me – you just get a notification! (Hell, it’s how I knew you posted an update!) As long i’m on someone’s reader, they’ll know when I get around to making a post.
I started my blogs as an outlet, and a way to document things. Not sure of your reasons, but they’re your own. We’ll all be here, if you want to write when you can. 🙂
There IS an in between place you can go to – where there isn’t PRESSURE to blog, but we’re all here if you WANT to blog. It’s called googlereader.
But see now if you NEED to, you know, simplify, and the blog is just too much pressure? Then well, I get it. Gotta do what keeps your sanity.
I’ll tell ya though. I’m gonna miss you something fierce if you DO go.
xxx
I look forward to your posts, infrequent though they may be. Sorry about Bebop being laid off – that sucks.
Watson, don’t go!!!!!!! I do know how you feel, though. I’ve started a new blog, hoping it would jumpstart my brain. (www.momsprung.com) So far, uh…no. At least you were able to give us a nice snapshot of your day! Speaking of which…yikes. Is this what I have to look forward to? I thought our dinner time was a little crazy now! Oh boy.
What a bummer about BeBop. Not to be a Pollyanna, but maybe he’ll be able to find something closer to home? That commute seemed so crazy. Sorry – that was very glass half full of me, I’m not usually such a tool. I know this has got to be sucking right now. Plus it’s not like you can leave him home w/ the babies, what with his penchant for running out to get takeout! 😉 Sorry BeBop…couldn’t resist.
So, a) Yay! about Facebook. It’s fun, and I have a feeling your status updates will be priceless. And b) Once our winter is over, let’s meet up somewhere and parade the runts around. Preferably somewhere that serves alcohol.
Seriously, though? Don’t go.
Ok, THANK YOU…because I don’t have to write my blog now…see YOU WROTE IT..the one where I wimp out and pull out my white flag and go F*u*k It, I just can’t/won’t/can’t even think about doing this anymore. I swear I laughed and laughed because I think our twins were seperated by birth and 3000 miles, I swear people if ANYONE is interested in what goes on in my house after 5:30 pm, just cast your eyes upward at this blog, because there it is!!!! ALthough our gates are the kind you can walk thorugh and not climb over (Jesus on a pogo stick Watson…why????) so mine stand at the “gate” and shake it, making it sound like the people at the French Revolution calling for the heads of people..other than that, I HEAR YA!!!!!
oh and Facebook…yeah, I think I’m already over it, unless you’ll be my friend and then maybe I’ll stay. 🙂
kiddos are beautiful, if you stop, don’t stop sending me updated pics. 🙂 OK? But I don’t want you to go, who oh who will blog for me???? HMMM?????
HUGS and love and I’ll be there with the wine as soon as I can get there.
Kir
see now if you had just posted that “parenting toddler twins is super hard” maybe you’d feel like you could post more often? in fact you could probably just copy and paste every few weeks with a new picture?
well of course then we’d still miss you terribly but it would be better than no more watson at all!
best wishes to bebop on the job search, i hope it’s short and ends well.
You can’t QUIT. That is sooooo final. And forever. And I would miss you. And I don’t want to see you go.
Maybe you could semi-retire. That way, you leave the door open to pop by here, spew a few thoughts, take extended vacations, check in when and if you want.
I am sorry BeBop will be out of a job; I remember when he got the job.
Sorry to hear about be-bops job. I hope you keep writing when you can because it’s fun to read.
Awww, don’t quit. You wrote much of how I feel about blogging these days. Infertility and pregnancy: tons to say. Mommyblogging: not so much.
I’ll stick around and read whatever you post, whenever that is. And though I don’t know your real name, I’d love to see what your status updates are on Facebook. I bet they’re hilarious.
I so could have written this. I haven’t updated since like August, and I used to be good for at least a post a week. But yeah, parenting twins toddlers is super-hard, so that’s my excuse and I’m sticking too it. Don’t go. And good luck with Be-Bop’s job search. Hopefully it will be quick and relatively painless.
Seriously you just can’t go…I don’t care if you only update every 3 months. I only have 6 weeks left til my twins are here and what will I do if I don’t have your blog to make me laugh at what’s coming! How will I know my boy/girl twins are normal too for screaming at the top of their lungs when put into their highchairs. By the way…You may have felt you were writing about nothing but I cracked up at your dog comments. I could totally picture it…poor thing! Your blog ALWAYS makes me laugh…no matter what you write about!
i’ll join the chorus of “please don’t stop!” – i use google reader too, and am always excited to see a post from you. there’s NO JUDGMENT when you don’t post.
just change your perspective about blogging – do it when you need to vent and process, not when you think we need to hear from you. you might need this to deal with the additional stress of bebop’s job loss. good luck, and hope to hear from you soon.
Just wanted to say: I heart you. Always have, always will. So withdraw if you want or embrace the fact that you have two near toddlers and you’re going to need some venting space with women who know just how badly you need a good, solid 5-minute cry sometimes.
I have actually become a Facebook addict – it is good for learning what ever happened to a friend from 9th grade without having to bother with an awkward lunch together.
I’ll read anything you post, but I certainly understand the difficulties blogging once life gets going.
why must you post every week? or month? just post when you feel like it. like they say, we have google reaader.
i miss you. you have my real name–look me up on facebook.
Okay, look, I know it took me an effing MONTH to see this frickin’ post. Because, like you, I don’t have any frickin’ time left in my life. I know! Full time job, multiples (good heavens, hello? people with ONE baby drop off the planet… you’ve got two toddlers, I’ve got three, how are WE supposed to stay on the planet?).
But you simply cannot quit. Take a break. Don’t blog for long periods of time. Disappear for a while. Go drink yourself into oblivion with that bottle of merlot. But quitting? That’s so frickin’ final and DAMMIT I’D MISS YOU. It would be ONE thing if you were twittering, but you’re NOT, dammit, and that’s unacceptable.
And now I’m back to this IVF hell (WTF? I know, I’ve frickin’ lost my mind and you’re not even here to help me through it!) and you’re just going to abandon me?!? (I hope you realize I’m joking, right? You get that, right? And if you don’t, you totally get that it’s the Lupron talking, right? RIGHT?)
So, seriously? Don’t go! And if you must? At least friend me on Facebook! Email me and I’ll give you the right details to find me!
singing my rendition of “Baby, Please Don’t Go” by Van Morrison….begging, pleading, don’t stop blogging…….
are you still there?
hello?
hellooooooo?
bugger bugger bugger you went and gone, didnt you? I miss you!!!
I miss you too. And I too am the world’s biggest crank when it comes to Facebook. My husband says that I should just quit or cut it OUT, since whenever I get on it, it’s a non-stop stream of complaints. So maybe you should invite me to be your cyberfriend (in this case, totally appropriate, since we’ve never met, but oh do I resent FaceWorld announcing, as if it were the next greatest piece of pie, that “Aina and so-and-so are now friends” when we’ve been friends for the past TEN YEARS DON’T get me STARTED. Anyway, I miss you too. You are so funny. I love people who make me laugh.
I shall read whatever you find the time to post. I heart you and your wacky world.
This is one of the funniest blog posts I’ve ever read, thanks for the laughs! I do hope you’ll continue occasionally but I do understand why not, because my days (esp. the dinnertime hour) are very similar to yours. Thanks for writing!