You know those moments when some ass hat makes a comment that just makes you want to jab THEM in the lower abdomen with your trigger shot?
Of course, we’ve all heard the "just relax" comment, the "once we stopped trying it finally happened" suggestion, or my personal fav, uttered by a very close friend of mine: "why don’t you just start the adoption process and try to TRICK your body into getting pregnant? I bet that would totally work!"
Errrr….okay. Thanks.
Of course, I’ve been told countless times that I just need to re-align my chakras, process my own birth trauma, clear up any past life issues, warm up my uterus, use these particular crystals, or have sex for FOUR hours straight when I’m ovulating, and then it will surely happen for me. (‘YEAH RIGHT, Lady’ was my response to this last little gem. I have like a full time job, I’m not running a brothel for crissakes!)
Sometimes these people are well-meaning and are actually trying to help. Let’s say most of the time they’re well-meaning, just to give folks the benefit of the doubt.
Like yesterday, for example, when I arrived at my acupuncturist’s office just in time to see a seriously HUGE, big-bellied pregnant woman checking out. I tried to sneak in and take a seat, just not feeling up to dealing with that.
I thought I would just wait quietly until she was ready for me, but my acupuncturist had other ideas. "Look, Watson!" She exclaimed, pointing at the woman’s belly. "This will be YOU soon!"
"Ah, thanks?" I uttered, or maybe mumbled. "Fingers crossed…" I added lamely. (Made way lamer by the fact that as I said this, I sort of crossed my fingers and flailed them up in the air in front of my face. GAWD. Could I be any more pathetic?) (Don’t answer that.)
WHY would she do that? She knows my struggles better than most people, knows the specific details of our current IVF plan and I was, quite frankly, shocked that she put me on the spot like that. Can you say awkward??
But I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, knowing that she’s thrilled things are progressing nicely and, I guess, just excited for me to have the same outcome.
But still!
I never know quite what to say in response to comments like these, unless of course I’m in a red hot rage thanks to the BCP and then I’m quite comfortable hurling insults your way.
But the talent blogger, Jenny The Great, has decided to do something about this whole phenomenon of getting unwanted, inappropriate, annoying or even hurtful comments.
She’s come up with a new website, and I’ll let her explain it in her own words:
I’ve read so many times that someone has been hurt by something someone says without thinking, and I know that explaining your side of things is often a really hard thing to do, especially when you’re hurting. It’s extra hard
when we’re faced with infertility, miscarriage, or anything like that and we
just don’t want to keep having to explain what’s going on or how their
comment was really upsetting.
Once I get enough content, I plan to distribute business cards with
different URLs on them for each category. That way, when someone says
something insensitive to your situation, you can simply hand them the card
and turn around, never having to explain. If they have a desire to help, or
learn, they will go visit the URL listed.
She’s gathering material for her new site, Sensitive Subjects, so head on over there and take a looksy!
In other news:
Why hasn’t anyone put their IVF drama on You Tube? I’m serious. When I did a search, I found one woman’s story documented with a few short videos and lots of educational stuff. And when I looked for injections, I had the misfortune of stumbling upon a video of Brit Brit (pre head-shaving freak out) and K-fed getting some kind of vitamin (?) injection in the ass.
I was sure some brave soul would be filming her shots every night, so I could see how it was done. Then she would update us, her adoring fans, with test results and doctor’s visits and we would follow breathlessly along, until the fateful day when she would announce she was pregnant! Hooray!
But I couldn’t find that. Am I just looking in the wrong place? I’m so distracted by the videos of people baking beet souffles (blech!), brides having nervous breakdowns and cutting their own hair off minutes before walking down the aisle, dogs humping various inanimate objects and God knows what else, and I can’t find anything that would benefit ME!
So who’s the brave soul willing to document her IVF journey on video and display it for the world to see on You Tube? For educational purposes! To help a sistah out! To help remove some of the stigma that surrounds fertility treatments! And hey! You might garner a trip to The Today Show, because they seem to ask anyone who’s ever put anything on You Tube to be on the show!
Any takers?
Hullo?
Bueller?
Bueller….
I’m glad I DIDN’T think of video taping our two experiences with IVF. It would have ended with something very similar to Britney Spears latest date with the clippers.
The other problem would be bleeping out ever FUCK and SHIT to keep it less offensive. I may as well just record Carol of the Bells as the audio.
freaky how relevant this post is to my day. first of all, the husband decided when we got home from transfer that he should videotape my bedrest, so one day we can show the kids their first day in me. no effing way that was happening. not that it would benefit anyone’s fertility education in ANY way.
then later, since i’ve been trying to pass the bedrest by surfing the net, i came across this:
http://www.vocalicious.com/empty_arms/empty_arms_mod.html
which is sort of a cross between your idea and the sensitive subjects site. caution: it’s all sappy and full of raw emotion, but i can see how it would help some people express their feelings about IF to fertiles.
Is that a challenge???!! Shameless exhibitionist that I am, maybe I WILL video every second of my upcoming IVF cycle, until everyone begs me to stop or I get invited to go on Oprah. Whichever comes first.
Watson! You need to make that video! And then you need to submit it to the International Infertility Film Festival.
http://infertilityfilmfestival.blogspot.com/
Seriously. Come on!
Bea
Yeah Watson, I tried to look it up a few months ago too, and really found nothing…..
You know, it’s funny-when I started this whole journey I seriously considered videotaping the whole ordeal, but decided to blog instead. Who knows, perhaps for the next round of IVF I’ll actually document it on video-the whole ugly mess of it.
Now that I think of it….I DO have a friend who’s a producer/filmer for NBC productions….perhaps a “reality series” for ART should be pitched???
Well, I don’t know any takers, but I know that if I have to end up doing IVF, I will want that kind of help! Please, someone video your IVF experience!
I would totally do it if I knew how.
Oh yeah, and if I wasn’t shamelessly lazy. Way too lazy to pop out the digital camcorder every time I have a shot.
I want you to do a video essay of some of the torture your mother puts you through.
Now that would be funny!
Hose me down, this is funny. Loving you.
Watson..you thought of it, you own it. Think about the worldwide fame not to mention the fortune that is to be had.
You can have the world by the ass all the while injecting yours. You are nothing less than brilliant.
would it make you feel weird if i told you that i pay $ to see YOU on youtube. especially with some sort of healer recommened by your mom. actually i’d pay $$$. and maybe invite people over to watch. and supply popcorn. but not liquids. b/c nobody wants people to spit liquids out onto their furniture from laughing. yes, it probably would. make you feel weird, that is.
sorry about the stupid comment for the acu lady. Hello, you’re going to be alone with her…with sharp objects. she musn’t be so worried.
my va-ja-ja has been on camera enough. she is tired of fame. she just wants to retire to spend more time with a family. so, no you tube from me.
sorry.
hee, hee, …should read “would pay.”
so, all of you should quit frantically searching for “watson…shot in ass” on you tube.
Hi. I have just discovered your blog by way of another blog and yours is a delight to read. Even though you are going through all this infertility stuff your posts are true to life and funny. I have just started on this road myself. My husband has low sperm count and I am not ovulating. We have told our friends and family. Our friends have been really supportive and so far have not said anything stupid. However, my one family memeber (who got pregnant twice very easily after the age of 35)keeps saying “it only takes one” and other stupid comments. Well thank you. If it only took one we would be okay. But when you are working with such a small number a little intervention is needed. There is a reason why the average count is 35-40 mil. Thanks for letting me vent. No one else, friends or family, is going through this. It’s nice to have blogs like yours to read and learn from and laugh with.
Another Susan, eh?
Watson, I can’t think of anyone better for the job than you. We’ve all seen your ass already anyway. What have you got to hide?
I agree with everyone, I think you are the perfect candidate to do the video…if anyone can do it, you are it!
I’m sorry you had to deal with the acu’s insensitivity. You’d think she would know better – not only is it insensitive, it’s a violation of patient privacy to announce to other patients why you are there to see her.
“We’ve all seen your ass already anyway.” – I must’ve missed that post! Someone fill me in on what date that was…
My posterior is already waaaay too big thankyouverymuch, so I’m not sure I want a camera adding another 10 pounds to it! 🙂 But (no pun intended, really) the Sharpie circles that R tends to embellish into smiley faces would be worth a laugh even if they’re not terribly educational, so maybe I’ll think about it for our next cycle.
Why haven’t we put it on You Tube? Because you know how you’re supposed to gather up a roll of flesh when administering the shots? Yes? Yeah-PEOPLE WOULD SEE IT. Imagine all the comments – “Heh. Looks like some sit-ups wouldn’t hurt.” “Hey look-the Stay Pufft Marshmallow Man IS alive!” or “Pinch an inch? More like a yard, babe.”
So no.
I’m not showing my method for the needles, thanks. I’m no Kirstie Allie, my flab is HIDDEN.
Sorry your acupuncturist was so thoughtless. Love your blog, by the way!
DO.IT.
I would never put a videoessay of my injection site on YouTube… because of two reasons. 1. We don’t have a recorder, and 2. No.Freaking.Way would my flabby-ass stomach end up on the internet for all to see. It would cause mass chaos – people screaming “OH.MY.GOD WHAT IS THAT?”
But I like your idea. I think you should do it.
As for your acupuncturist… I want very much to find the RIGHT response to that. The one where I feel good because I let my inner bitch out, and there’s no guilt because my comment could have been taken as a joke.
*sigh*
If you did this, you’d be my hero FOREVER…. 🙂