If we were going to do another IUI, I would have started clomid on Sunday and would have had the joy of a CD3 internal exam yesterday. Since we are not doing another IUI this month, the upside is I get to skip all of the above.
So I’ve got that going for me.
And today, it feels like that’s about ALL I have going for me.
I should be more excited that we leave on Friday for vacation. But today I am just really sad and depressed…and totally clueless as to what we do next.
I had my phone session with Teresa last night, and it was okay. She’s an RN as well as a certified nurse midwife, along with being intuitive. So she brings a lot to the table. Unfortunately, I have already done almost everything she suggested. And obviously NONE of it has worked.
She starts by asking tons of questions about your medical history and IF background. What your test results have been, what you’ve already tried.
All the regular tests: baseline bloodwork, glucose, HSG, FSH, etc. Check, check, check and check.
Sperm count? Check.
Thyroid? Check.
Mercury levels? Check.
Did I have my mercury fillings removed? Check. Did I do a cleanse following this procedure? Check.
Eating, drinking, caffeine, smoking. Fine, moderate, no and no.
So, in the end, she had nothing new to suggest and no new directions to explore as to why we haven’t been able to get pregnant. Did I expect her to come up with some out-of-left-field, pulled-out-of-her-ass ‘ANSWER’ to this question of why we can’t get pregnant? I’d be lying if I said no. I was totally hoping for something like that.
The second part of the call centered around energy work, her ‘looking’ to see where my energy might be blocked, what I need to work on in order to be ready to conceive.
I have to say sometimes that really pisses me off! I mean, it feels like every other woman on earth can just get pregnant, but nooooo….I’m the one with all the blocked energy! That makes me want to scream.
Although I am very open to alternative healing methods, sometimes they seem to find the patient/client at fault. I’m the one with issues, I’m the one that needs to be fixed. But the fixing part is often more sessions of one thing or another, or work that I need to do to unblock all this blocked energy. I have a full time job, people, I can’t spend my whole flipping day unblocking my own energy! Can’t I just pay someone to do it for me, like an energy plummer!?
She did have some interesting thoughts about my short luteal phase and some progesterone issues I might have, which is a lot more concrete (and helpful) than the energy work. She didn’t get the feeling that we would have to do IVF, but I’m not that keen on doing injectibles, figuring it might be better to just move on to IVF.
At the moment, I don’t want to do anything. I want to stick my head in the sand and pretend I’m not trying to get pregnant.
No, I don’t want to have a baby, thank you very much, la la la I can’t hearrrrr you….
It’s probably just all that goddamn blocked energy.
You’ve done a lot. A lot more than me (removing mercury fillings? who knew?). I’m not sure any of these things help, but so long as it’s not making you feel worse, there’s nothing wrong with it and maybe something good in that you feel that you’re doing something. It’s always hard feeling positive when you’re in between doctor’s visits.
Hope you have a good vacation.
With every new person I talk with about my fertility issues I expect they will have the answer I have been searching for. Can’t help it. It does sound like she has a few theories about progesterone and LP…worth following up on.
In the meantime enjoy your cycle off and your vacation!
I could totally get behind drinking magical butterfly essence. Do they sell that at Whole Foods?
Seriously, though, I agree with Thalia–it’s nice to feel like you’re doing something even when you’re not cycling.
Have a great vacation!
That energy plumber doesn’t sound like such a bad idea. I know, sometimes we want to know answers and we feel like if we have them, then everyhting will be fixed. I hope you enjoy your vacation and try to get away from all these.