A: Refuse to pay her.
BOOOOO.
That’s bad even for ME and I have frighteningly low standards. In case you haven’t noticed…
But seriously, how DO you make all of these hormones required for the IVF cycle?? My GAWD people, the drawing up of fluid and the powders and the vials and the syringes, OH MY.
I just about fell off my chair when I read through all of my instructions from Dr. Z. Is this puzzling and overwhelming for everyone just starting her first cycle, or is it me?
If it’s me, you can tell me…
I am hoping that from the outset it all looks very scary and confusing and quite painful, but once you’re in full swing it all falls into place and starts making sense.
Is this what happens? IS IT?!?!? [shouted in quaky voice with veins bulging in neck.] [Not a pretty sight, I might add.]
I feel like crap today and I’ve only taken one birth control pill. ONE. I have taken one little teeny tiny baby step in this process and I already feel like my body can’t take it.
PA-THETIC.
I was whining and flailing around in the kitchen today at work, all flustered and pale and suffering from a migraine. Always the drama queen, it was obvious to anyone within a five-mile radius I was ill.
But you know those people who just cannot let you be ill? They just have to share in your misery and steal your thunder? God I hate those people.
The annoying super nerd guy in my office came into the kitchen, took one look at me and said, "Oh are you sick?? I feel terrible too. I think I have the SAME thing!"
"Really?" I snorted in response. "So you recently grew a faulty uterus and a bunch of marginal-at-best eggs?? And even though you want more than ANYTHING to be pregnant you started the birth control pill last night?? Because if the answer to that is NO, then I highly doubt you have the same affliction I do!"
That shut him up.
So I am taking to my bed chamber…flouncy nightie and marabou-trimmed slippers and all, to wait out this headache. And hope that this isn’t the start of a very, very long few weeks.
And coming soon…the winner of the Name This IVF Cycle Category Contest.
You people crack me up. Thank you for bringing some levity to this whole thing. What would I do without you?
LOL, I’d have loved to have seen that guy’s face when you gave him that speech! I hope you feel better soon, and that the migrane was just a one off and not from the BCP’s. One step closer to that possible BFP.
Does Dr. Z give you all of your drugs at once? My clinic gives you just what you need at the time. I thought that would be a pain in the ass, but realized it was far less overwhelming to have one drug at a time.
BCP’s suck. Just wait till you see what they do to your sex drive!
And Watson, you bring us levity. So thank you for that, my friend!
It’s clearly just you. When M got her box of goodies, which all came at once, we opened it up like it was Christmas morning. We studied each vial with sheer glee like it was a brand new matchbox car. We piled all the syringes and vials on the floor and laughed and sang as we danced in a circle around them. We taught the Buggins how to inject her juiceboxes and extract the deliciousness and then inject it directly in her mouth. We took turns getting our pictures taken with the box. We adopted it as a member of our family. We called it “Boxie”.
What’s your problem?
AND, in defense of Mr. Nerd-man, how do you know he DIDN’T get one of those new uterus transplants? He could be struggling with PCOS with no one to turn to, and he identified you as a potential ally. Way to crush his hopes.
Oh, it becomes old hat in no time. Pretty soon you’ll be shooting up in parking lots and restaurant bathroom stalls. And wondering how you could convincingly explain the drug paraphenalia in your purse should it happen to spill onto the floor. Good times.
Don’t worry…it ALWAYS looks like craziness-with-meds time when you get your first IVF meds box.
I liked it, though, in a sick way. Like Smarshy, I totally got all the stuff out and stacked it on the counter, checking each one out, wondering…hrm, I hope they EXPLAIN this to me soon, because I have no CLUE what most of this is!
But it was old hat soon. It’s easy, just one step (ish) at a time!
Good luck!!
Gawd, I’m so glad you’re going through this before me so I can giggle my way through the process! (Sorry to be so all-about-me, but someone has to.)
I know I’ll be looking at that box with a mixture of horror and respect. And definitely no family pictures.
Before you know it, you’ll be running out the door in a rush, marabou slippers and all, needle hanging out of your guts & it will all be second nature….
I was in the same state of horror when I received the 2 enormous grocery bags full of meds. Does it get easier? You haven’t even gotten to the shots yet, I’ll let you figure that one out!
I really believe I would rather someone cut off my small toe than to have a migraine. Having a headache sucks!
I love what you said to that guy! The only way it could have been any better is if you posted a picture of his reaction!
Hi Watson!!
De-lurking to hope AF appears this century…
IVF #1: Stick Me Baby One More Time
Douglas
Coming out of lurk mode…because OMG you are hilarious! I got all my meds yesterday for my first cycle of injectibles, and I almost passed out at the information overload.
Good luck this cycle, I’ll be following along, if that’s okay!
wow, you a baby. j/k. you couldn’t be a baby and live through a migraine. seriously.
you know, you’re reallllyyyy making me dread the IVF thing. Can’t you fake it for me?
Hope it doesn’t get worse.; )
Man, I wish I could come up with snappy comebacks like that when people try to steal my sick-thunder! I usually just snot on them and that’s the end of it.
You are really helping me hope that all I need is Clomid, because none of this IVF start-up stuff sounds fun. I love that you told that to that douchebag at work. Sometime we have to let the world know how crazy IF makes us!
Oh yeah. I remember THAT MADNESS. J had come home before me (because it IS busy season, after all) and unpacked the whole thing. Put it on the table. Scared the BE-FREAKING-JEEZUS out of me.
But once I got used to it, I kind of felt like a mad scientist. I really liked it.
And it makes me sad that this cycle I get a fancy schmancy pen which all I have to do is click to 187.5. BORING. Give me some mixing of the drugs!! mu-HAHAHAHAHAH…
(hmmm. I might like the mixing part a little too much.)
I think your comeback was the best I’ve heard in the past two years. I’ve copied it, memorized it, and intend to use it at some point in my life.
Thanks, as usual, for my mid-day laugh. I laughed even harder at Smarshy’s response.
All right sistah – can you have your mom do one of her voodoo things to send AF to me a little early this cycle? 🙂
You think the hormone instructions are bad? Wait till you hear what they’re made of…
(insert doomy sounding music here).
Did you really say that?
Wow. That’s funny. The hormone joke? I’m making all the appropriate eye-rolling I-can’t-believe-you-said-that actions.
The impending sense of doom? Totally normal. Comes free.
Bea
PS-There’s also:
Q: “How do you make a hormone?”
A: “Pull her hair.”
Not like I’ve ever told that one or anything, noooooooooooooooooooo.
If your Dr. Z resides in NoCal, then buckle up. You’ll be on more meds than you can shake a stick at.
Also mention the words crotch snot during one of your follicle checks and watch his face contort in horror. Dr. Moustache did NOT like that at all.
Love your comeback! AND that you actually said it. I usually come up with things like that to say only after hours of tossing and turning in bed at night. So much better to get it off your chest then and there, and get to appreciate the shocked reaction.
And, YOU are levitating all on your own 😀
Oh yes, do I remember those days. Don’t worry,we all have the same feeling starting an IVF cycle…everything seems so overwhelming. Don’t worry, it really isn’t that bad once you get started. Hope the headache goes away!!
Ah, the Box ‘O Meds……how well I remember that. I almost had a heart attack at Schrafts when they came around the counter with not only a box, but a brown handled shopping bag. All for me……whatever did I do for that?
Seriously, you’re on your way! Now, I may be late, but here’s my humble submissions for your new tag:
IVF#1-Fun With Sharps
IVF#1-My Addiction with the CooterCam
IVF#1-‘Cause it Costs Less Than a New Jaguar.
Okay, perhaps they suck, but it’s my best.
PS-How do you make a hormone? Put Sand in the Vaseline.
Good luck, girl!
Watson, you are too funny. I’m sorry I have no insight on the IVF process, we are still on the IUI’, but I’m sure it will get easier. I remember thinking the whole Folistim pen was complicated and I even remember back to the Clomid cycles. They both ended up being easy. I’m sure there are more things to remember and do for IVF but you will get through it. Best of luck.
Thanks for keeping us all updated. I’ll be chacking up on you as you go.
~Debbie
Watson, you are too funny. I’m sorry I have no insight on the IVF process, we are still on the IUI’, but I’m sure it will get easier. I remember thinking the whole Folistim pen was complicated and I even remember back to the Clomid cycles. They both ended up being easy. I’m sure there are more things to remember and do for IVF but you will get through it. Best of luck.
Thanks for keeping us all updated. I’ll be chacking up on you as you go.
~Debbie
hahaha!!! when my ginormous box of IVF meds arrived in the mail (on the four year anniversary of my ttc journey, no less), it seemed a little large at first, but when i unpacked it and layed everything out on the counter to be sure it was all there…..that’s when i got scared! YIKES what a lot of needles! but now i’m only to the lupron point and already it doesn’t seem like a big deal because it all comes in little steps. and the annoying waiting for each one to get here made me more eager to get on with it.
i’m so glad to hear someone else complain about the pill too, because it’s really been making me a high anxiety bitch the last few days and i felt silly complaining about that compared to everything that’s still to come.
hope you don’t mind a new blog stalker. i’m also on ivf #1 after four years of IF joy, so we’re in a similar spot.