…And I came back for more.
Yup. For some inexplicable reason* I decided to sign up for another month.
*I am a goddamn LAZY ASS. And left to my own devices I wouldn't do anything AT ALL. Seriously, exercise for me is strolling slowly through the gym, lounging on a treadmill for about 10 minutes, getting super bored of VH1 and then deciding to head out to the nearest bagel shop.
And that's a good workout for me.
So even though I spent all those days thoroughly humiliating myself and hoping against hope that
1) I would miraculously learn how to jump rope from one day to the next and 2) the Blond Mom Gang would ask me to join their perfectly-coiffed cabal (and they would give me a free pass on the customary beat-down most new members get!), neither happened.
And yet, I knew if I wanted to get this baby weight off, and tackle The Awning Problem, I would have to do something that made me work hard. Because really? It's not pretty, folks.
In other news, Baby Cate has arrived, what wonderful news!
And in other other news, the twins are almost nine and a half months old. I have totally skipped Month Eight's letter, and now am well on my way to missing this month so I must get my ass in gear.
But in case you're curious, the headline is:
BABIES TEETHING = SUCKTASTIC TIME FOR MOMMY AND NEIGHBORS ON BOTH SIDES
Yes, both neighbors casually mentioned, "Oh! Are the twins teething? This is the first time we could hear them."
I try to shut the window when diaper changes sound like cats being attacked by rusty cheese graters and I try to remember to close the sliding door to the backyard when dinnertime sounds like wild parrots being plucked bald one feather at a time.
I hope that the neighbors can't hear me saying things like, "YOU ARE DRIVING MOMMY TO DRINK" and "Where the fuck is your father?" and "Get me the Baby Motrin STAT" but of course if they hear the babies they probably can hear me, but I choose not to dwell on that.
I just tell myself that teething is a stage, that we will all somehow get through this, and that within a few hours I can wake up to a new morning, which brings with it a new hope, a slowing rising sun, a comforting breeze cooled by the fog over San Francisco Bay, the beautiful soft light breaking through the tree tops and the chance to shove a Lexapro down my gullet faster than you can say
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
Good luck with the teething. That’s awesome that you’re sticking with the Bootcamp. And believe me, I’ve uttered “Where the fuck is your father?” more than once in my time.
Hahahaha!!
I never understood it…Ava was a good teether and all of a sudden there was a tooth and then another and another and EVEN NOW with the molars you don’t know she’s teething.
HOWEVER. Nacks is getting his first tooth and EGADS is he AWFUL! I sooo hear you!!
You sound well, though, if not sane. Boot camp? You are a better woman than I! If I’m to lose the weight, it’s going to be an act of God not me!! 🙂
Damn, sister, you are a bad ass!! Another month. I’m so impressed.
I hope the teething is over soon! In the meantime drink away!
I’m watching Sarah Palin arrive in Fairbanks. I think I might puke.
Dear Watson, oh how I hear you, sister. On the teething and on the questions from neighbors. Eeek.
Congratulations on your continuing determination and masochism! I am full of awe.
Yes, you are a badass. For sure. Sorry about the teething. I’m dreading that here. xoxo
Sorry about the teething..I hope it gets better.
thanks for the shout out.
i am so afraid of boot camp. we should work out together. i pay in the pool (it’s old people and gay men, so no blond cabel to tend with) then the sauna to rest my weary muscles.
i am proud of you!
Good for you for keeping with it. It’s gotta start paying off.