So once again I find myself with NOTHING TO SAY.
NO.THING.
I swear, as an Infertile I had volumes to share, what with all the PCOS, the cervical mucus, the acupuncture, the day-to-day tracking of my cycles, the frillions of negative pregnancy tests over the years.
GOOD TIMES, people, good times.
And as a Preggie, man I could waste some time, right? What with the bologna-like areolas, the facial hair growth that turned me into a Wookie (Yeeeks, a bloated Wookie with enlarged areolas…do they make those? I predict a new toy from Lu.cas Fi.lms coming just in time for the ’08 holiday season! And? I hope to GAWD you haven’t just had lunch because that’s super disgusting) and the swelling. Oy. Remember all the fun we had talking about my swelling? Those were the days, huh?
And then there was the actual giving birth and all…
And then? Then my creativity and my ability to construct even a semi-coherent sentence went all to hell.
I guess I could write about what the babies are up to these days. I enjoy reading other Moms’ accounts of what their kiddies are doing, but I know not everyone does. Especially if you’re still in the trenches.
I think a part of it is that I still feel so unprepared and ill-suited to this job of MOM. As far as skill sets go, I might as well taken a job as a Rockette or an explorer (do they still have those?) Or a carnie. Or a hobo.
Seriously, I was probably just as, if not more, prepared to take on one of those jobs as I was to become a Mother, even though I spent every second of every minute of every day for FIVE years trying to reach that goal.
And don’t get me wrong: I love being a Mom to my sweet little babies, I really do. But I just feel so out of my element. Every single day.
Maybe it’s the extra helping of ass-whooping post partum depression I was treated to that’s making this hard, I’m not sure.
And I feel like as a ‘survivor’ from the battlefields of infertility, I have less of a ‘right’ to voice these concerns, do you know what I mean? Like because we finally brokered a peace and returned home from the front lines with not one but TWO beautiful babies I don’t have the right to share these feelings that being a first time Mom of twins is hard.
I should just be grateful and shut my pie hole, I know.
So help me out peeps, what should I write about? Or should I just take my positive-pregnancy-test-after-our-first-IVF and shove it up my ass?
Go on, you can tell me…
I find this post rather insulting, to be honest. I know my hirsuteness might be mistaken as a cover for my enlarged areolas, but it’s just not true. And to imply otherwise is just RUDE.
Go on, Chickie, tell’em how it really is… I’m too chicken, so someone has too. It should at LEAST be someone with twins! Someone who is taking double the ass-whooping.
I know what you mean about the PPD AND about this being FREAKIN’ HARD WORK. Oh, and the job app? Doesn’t say a damned thing about half the crap you gotta be able to do – one-handed. Geesh!
LOL
You can tell me at least – I’ll understand, even if every other reader desserts you!
Ill always enjoy reading–you can blog about poop or pancakes, and Ill still read=)
Heck- I’ll check in on your rants whether it be on trip through infertility hell or if it’s on your freakin’ cute kids, or if it has anything to do with wookie like hairy nipples! LOL-just keep writing- you bring new light into our worlds!
My favorite quote which pertains to how hard this job is:
Motherhood brings as much joy as ever, but it still brings boredom, exhaustion, and sorrow too. Nothing else ever will make you as happy or as sad, as proud or as tired, for nothing is quite as hard as helping a person develop his/her own individuality–especially while you struggle to keep your own.
-M. Kelly & E. Parsons
Welcome to the club. I feel like I’ve blogged four times in the year he’s been born. Technically, it’s a shade more than that, but I couldn’t even begin to tell you what it was about, and I know for sure the shit wasn’t funny.
Dear Watson, I hear you, though you are still amazingly funny.
I really would like to know how and what the twins are doing, and what your days look like. You could always put in a warning…
I’ve written this post about 30 times in the past 20 months, to the point that people are surely thinking I should shut the eff up about it already.
I don’t know what to say when I do blog, and when I gather up the initiative, it’s boring-as-sin tripe. Ugh. I pity me.
Basic gist, you’re not alone. See, I can barely write this one comment, let alone an entire blog post.
If I could only count the number of times I have told my husband I don’t feel qualified to be raising our son in the past 4 months. It is a tough job and since every kid is so different, there is no manual to tell you how to figure it out.
Can relate on not knowing what to blog about anymore, post infertility and pregnancy. But I’ll keep reading whatever you write–you’re hysterical.
Hysterical in the freakin’ funny way, not the she’s-crazy way.
you could write about a sidewalk and it’d be funny and a good read. plus i want to hear about J & P.
guit being so damn hard on yourself. they love oyu and no mother is perfect. roll with it more. remember that guilt is one of the number one symptoms of PPD.
Oh good grief. It’s like you are inside my head or something. So ummm yeah.
I say blog about whatever the eff you want to blog about. You kick ass. You’re wicked funny (how’s that for Massachusetts dialect, eh?) and I adore you.
🙂
xxx
Ah, it’s a hard transition no? From infertile to infertile WITH kids! I’m biased, but I would love to hear about the kids. The first few months they are pretty much the only thing you ever think about anyway. As time goes on, you will find other things to blog about. I promise.
My babies turn 1 TODAY! I still don’t feel qualified. Although Jake threw up all over me and him last week, and it wasn’t formula spit up, it was lots of food and chunks (lovely, right?) and I didn’t flinch. Not even for a second. So maybe, just maybe, at one week shy of one year old, I’m gettin the hang of this mommy thing! You will too! Hang in there!
Heck, I am still struggling with the whole baby making debacle and I too am at a loss for words.
Not to flatter, but anything you posy is worth a read so keep it coming (if you can)
That is, anything you post, not posy. Ahem.
Write about anything – even mommy stuff. It’s where you’re at, and you of all people can make anything funny:-)
There are SO many things you could blog about. I could give you a list if you like. I want to hear the real deal. The honest account of what you think, feel, experience etc. It isn’t like you just got knocked up because you wanted to, you worked hard, struggled and your hard work paid off. Tell it like it really is, the good, the bad and the just plain truth.
See? You’re not alone. And now you maybe face the same thing I do – Dear God, what do I talk about without coming across as a Smug Mommy Blogger, When Really I Sometimes Feel Completely Incompetent?
LOL.
Post away about the babies. I’ll still read. I know, I’m an obvious vote for that, but…
Still. It’s just where you are now. Really.
Being a first=time mom of twins IS indeed hard! There’s so much going on, and it’s going on in 2 different ways, for 2 different babies! And simultaneously, your heart is quaking with joy because there they are, TWO BABIES!!!
I like reading about the babies – my twins are 7 now, and your writing reminds me of their babyhood.
I think we just all enjoy your writing and your humor. I’ve followed your journey and I’m not jumping ship now. I can’t imagine how hard it is to be a mother of twins. I can’t even imagine being a mother to one baby right now and I’m sure I’ll feel completely inept when it happens. This is your blog and you can exclaim or complain about whatever you want. People will still read it!
Take care!
I feel exactly the same way, like I just don’t have much to say and what I do have to say is all about the kiddos. Plus I agree, that I could have taken a job as a clown and been better prepared than what I am being the boys’ mom. In many ways it makes me feel less inadequate reading this post. Plus, who am I to complain about sleeplessness, or nose congestion or poopy diapers when this is all I cried and prayed for for 4 stinkin years. I hear ya sista, I hear ya.
just know that no matter what you write about you have an audience in me.
HUGS!!!
Kir
I think that a lot of people who read your blog faithfully have either (a) made it to the “other” side IF-wise or are (b) in the process of making it to the other side. It is helpful to know that there is life post-IF…and that it may not always be a bed of roses. Some of the issues you are struggling with in your new, post-IF mode and likely to be the same things your readers are struggling with. Your humor and style, however, always help keep it in perspective for me. I will always read Watson posts!
I think that a lot of people who read your blog faithfully have either (a) made it to the “other” side IF-wise or are (b) in the process of making it to the other side. It is helpful to know that there is life post-IF…and that it may not always be a bed of roses. Some of the issues you are struggling with in your new, post-IF mode and likely to be the same things your readers are struggling with. Your humor and style, however, always help keep it in perspective for me. I will always read Watson posts!
blog about anything…nothing…and,speaking from deep in the trenches, i hereby absolve you of ever having to express gratitude! and if i don’t want to hear about baby stuff, i’ll skip the post…
you give me hope and you almost always give me a laugh…thanks!
peace
shlomit
oh god….is it so bad? (im expecting twins!) maybe if i know the worst now it’ll be ok later…!!