There is Clearly a Lot of Work To Be Done Here

A quick phone conversation between me and my sister today:

Her: "Why are you running out of the office?  What are you doing?"

Me:  "I have an appointment with my shrink."

Her:  "SHRINK?  You see a shrink??"

Me:  "Ummmmm..HAVE YOU MET OUR PARENTS??!!"

                                                                                                           

Edited later to add this update:

My Mother calls me at work and once again (and it must have been the crank I snorted on my lunch break) I pick up the call.

Her:  "Oh, hellloooo honey. How are you?  [No pause for answer] I saw the little chee last night and he said you should come back soon."

Me:  "The who?  The what?  What is a ‘little chee’ and why are you talking to it about me??"

"Oh you know…the baby chee.  The younger one!"

"Okkkaaayyyy…well, THAT clears it all up.  Seriously Mother, WHAT are you talking about?"

"You know — the healer!  The older Korean man was Old Master Chee and I just call the younger one the Little Chee."

"Oh."

"Well, he asked me about you and he said he knew you were trying to get pregnant. He KNEW !  Isn’t that amazing?"

"Well, no, not really.  I TOLD HIM THAT."

[not listening]

"Anyway, he said to me that you had a cold womb.  He gestured to his tummy and said ‘too cold, baby go brrrrrrrrrrrr and not wanting to come.’ Isn’t that a riot?" [Laughing]

"Ummmmm…a riot?  No. No, not really. It’s decidedly not a riot that The Little Chee, who’s name actually is  Master Cha, told you I had a cold womb."

"Oh. Well.  He seems to know what he’s talking about and I think you should go back again and see him for a healing."

"Okay. I’ll go back and see if he can turn my frozen tundra of a uterus into a fricking steam room.  Or a New York City subway car in August. Or like the white hot heat of a thousand suns.  How would that be?  And while he’s at it, he can do some tidying up down there too.  Like spring cleaning. It will be just like that show While You Were Out, where when one person leaves the other one totally redecorates and adds such awesome-ness you barely recognize the place.  I’ll have a white hot, inviting womb with a view by the time he’s done with me! We’ll go with a Shabby Chic decor I think."

[Sarcasm is lost]

"Alright, honey.  That sounds great. See you later!"

OH BOY. 

And I actually want to pass this insanity down to future generations?!?