Since we don’t have kids to distract us, nor are we pregnant or have a plan in place to GET us pregnant, this is the kind of drivel that occupies our minds:
BeBop: If a seeing eye dog was going blind, what kind of seeing eye animal would he have?
Me: Is this a riddle?
Him: No, seriously. Would he have like a seeing eye squirrel leading him around while he led a blind person around?
Me: I don’t think so, no. Think about the dog-human relationship. What’s the equivalent of a loyal dog to a dog? Maybe a bunny rabbit…or a beaver.
Him: {Scratching of head} Hmmmmmmmmm….
OR
The following e-mail from BeBop this morning, with the subject heading of:
You Should Never Doubt Me
Him: Hey remember when I told you that Anthony Michael Hall’s character in Sixteen Candles was named Farmer Ted? And you didn’t believe me?? Well I looked it up on IMDB.com and guess what sucka…
Sixteen Candles (1984) …. Farmer Ted, ‘The Geek’
How does it feel? Huh??
Me: I can barely remember that conversation because it was SO inane. YOU are inane. And only a total geek would know that or care. AND that’s NOT EVEN A REAL NAME. Who even says that in the movie?
Him: Actually if I’m not mistaken (and I’m not) he refers to himself as ‘Farmer Ted’ at least two different times!
Me: What, his first name is ‘Farmer’ and his last name is ‘Ted’? That’s ridiculous.
Him: Suck it!!
Yes. We are a paragon of maturity.
GAWD.
Paragons of maturity, perhaps not. But really fun people I’d love to know? Absolutely!
You two definitely have some funny conversations!!
Delurking to say: Jeez Laweez, that sounds EXACTLY like the typical (almost daily) e-mail exchanges between my BF and myself. We’re around the same age as you guys. We’re also struggling (heroically, I like to think) to have a child. It’s uncanny. Could we be the same people? I mean, nobody ever sees us together…
Bitsy
Hmmmm….could be! I say ‘Jeez Laweez’ ALL THE TIME.
Do you have a crazy mother? Could you eat pizza at every meal for weeks on end? Do you have inane nicknames for your dog like Snuggle Bunny Beary Bear?? If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these we could be living as each other’s doppleganger…let’s think of a caper!
Bitsy (love the name!) where is your blog, girlfriend?
Not a crazy mother, but a crazy aunt. (Although, now that you mention it, my cousin and I are almost the same age, so we could have been switched at birth…hmmmmm) My mother is, however, currently working hard to take the practice of saying bizarre IF-related things to the level of an olympic sport. Does that count? I don’t have a dog, but I do have a cat. His nicknames run along the lines of “Jakerino Jakeranda” and “Mr. Striperino.” (I can’t BELIEVE I am admitting this to a perfect stranger. Although, I suppose if you’re really my west coast doppelganger it’s okay.)What sort of caper did you have in mind? I’ve got no kids at home (not that I’m bitter or anything), so I’ve got plenty of free time.
Bitsy
(BTW: It’s an old family nickname that I can’t seem to shake. Glad you like it. I’ll share.)
No blog yet. I’m a little shy . (She said, casting her eyes down demurely)
Oh, and I forgot: I could TOTALLY eat pizza (cheese only, no cuckoo-bird toppings, thank you very much) for every meal every day of my life.
Coincidence? I think not…
Bitsy
DUDE! Cheese pizza is like totally my favorite, so now this is getting weird!!
Before we discuss plans to take over the world (insert hand-wringing and mwhaa haa haa here), you MUST start a blog, you’re hysterical and us infertiles have to stick together and write about our cervical mucus all day.
Good times.
Anyhoo, get yeself to Typepad, and just start writing!!
Hmm… given that the plan for children is currently in place here, I wonder what OUR excuse is…?
Cervical mucus? BAH! You have cervical mucus to write about? I haven’t seen mine since….oh…since…GAHD. You know, I think it went on vacation without me. Bastard. It must have been like, “Listen bimbo, you just bought that industrial-sized drum of Preseed, so what do you need with me?” But enough about my wise-ass girlie parts. Listen: I’m TOTALLY up for world domination, and since it’s one of your prerequisites for discussing it, I’ve started work on my own blog. (God help us!) I’ll let you know when it’s all in place. Then we’ll combine forces, and the earth will be ours for the plucking — like an overripe plum. MwaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Bitsy
Mmmmmmm….PLUMS! Mmmmmmmm…world domination!! It won’t be long now.
Definitely let me know when you go public with the blog.
And I hope you get a postcard soon from your cervical mucus, it’s probably all relaxed and tan by now.
The thought of relaxed, tan cervical mucus is just so, so, soooo troubling, I think I need to go lie down.
Bitsy
So. Here’s my blog. First posts are HARD, man.
When do we take over the world?
Bitsy
(BTW, I’ve shortened my blog name to “Zee” to avoid immediate blog detection by the fam!)
I’m a huge fan of the seeing-eye squirrel. Perhaps we could set up a special school to teach them the skills. I have at least a hundred from my yard to offer up for the cause. It would give them something better to do than eat my flowers, bulbs, and vegetables. Grr.