Wherein I Promise To Shut My Pie Hole ** Now With More Waiting **

Annnnnnnd…the wait continues, Day 9.

Last night I had the weirdest dream.

I was a female prisoner on Alcatraz, and for some reason I had legions of friends on ‘the outside’ (as we hardened criminals like to say) whom I had never met.  They were all women and we communicated via a carrier pigeon I cleverly named Pidgey.

I would send messages on a little piece of paper attached to her ankle, and she would fly to the shore of San Francisco Bay and reach all of my friends.  My friends would then all write wonderfully supportive missives back to me, also attached to Pidgey’s tiny little bird ankle.

I would write notes like, It’s cold out here on this frigging island, the fog makes my hair frizz uncontrollably and will masturbating really make me go blind?

My network of friends (= YOU, NoDuhDr.Freud) would always respond with informative, understanding and very supportive notes that I couldn’t wait to read.  The notes would encourage me to serve out my sentence, suggest I trade sexual favors for a wool sweater, invest in a knit hat and reassure me that, no, masturbation did not in fact cause blindness.

No matter what I complained about, these notes always made me feel better. And understood.

So thank you — my gratitude is such that it’s showing up in my dreams at night.  Your support has sunk deep into my subconscious which sounds weird but I mean that in the nicest way.

I think I will take a short break from posting until Something happens…I need to stop complaining and focus on how grateful I am that as of today, I’m 37 weeks and 1 day.  I am, of course, totally cracking under the pressure and feel like I’m going to explode at any minute.

But.

I’m also so happy that the babies seem fine and that despite some very minor discomforts, I’m also doing really well. 

I go for another NST tomorrow, followed by a doctor’s appointment for my weekly check, so I will hopefully know more after that.  If not (meaning the "closed until winter — no entry or exit" sign I nailed to my cervix is still up), I’ll try to post a ‘HOLY CRAP I’m off to the hospital’ post when THAT happens. And failing those options, I’ll see if someone can post an update with the hopefully very good news that the babies have arrived and are healthy and happy.  (They might be preparing to get their drivers’ licenses or perhaps move into a college dorm room by then, but by God they BETTER be healthy and happy little buggers!)

Pidgey and I both thank you so much for taking the time to read my tiny little notes sent out across the water, and for taking the time to write back.  Stuck in my cell, with only the cold and the fog to keep me company, it really does mean the world to me…

Update:  11/21/07

38 weeks here I come, like it or not.

It seems that the Cervix of Steel has not changed one bit since my last visit…yesterday my dr could sense I was at the end of my rope, after getting perhaps one or maybe two hours of sleep the night before, mostly due to horrendous heartburn.

And also?  I was wearing the same gray sweat pants I’ve had on every time I go there, plus I was wearing BeBop’s tennis shoes because NONE of my own shoes fit.  I’m 5’4" and usually wear a 6 or a 7, so sporting a men’s sized 10 was just NOT a good look for me.

"I need an exit strategy!!" I practically shrieked when the dr walked in.  After checking the cervix, he asked if I could go another week.  Inside my head I was yelling NO NO NO, but I said, "I guess so…"

The plan is for me to return Monday and get checked again, and see what positions the babies are in at that point. I am betting on a scheduled c-section sometime next week…in another post I will detail my (d)evolution from Hippie all-natural, home water birth girl to JUST GUT ME LIKE A TROUT AND GET THESE KIDS OUT girl, but that’s for another day.

And overall, things are good.  My blood pressure is low, the babies are looking good on the monitors and besides the 2 H’s (heartburn and heft) things are fine. 

Tomorrow as we celebrate Thanksgiving here in the States, I have a hell of a lot to be thankful for.